Who wants some pictures?! No belly pictures though.

You'll have to wait until Thursday for a belly photo ;)

But I do have these.
Den and 3rd bedroom reno is done, minus a few touch ups here and there.. But otherwise it's done. It's still not done being put back together since as you'll notice in the photos we have a changing table in the den which obviously belongs in the nursery, but we are making progress :) Here is the 3rd (spare) bedroom. We are planning to take apart a few wooden pallets apart and nail the slats on the face of the soffit above the bed which is why is looks unfinished right now. Below those are photos of the [once]den, [now] office.

This is the nursery!! We put the first coat of grey on last night!

 Here is is what I made for breakfast on Christmas morning. Cinnabon French Toast Casserole. The easiest and [easily] most loved breakfast I've ever made! 'Barry tested and approved' ;)

This s what my sister got for Christmas!! A shiny new puppy!!!!!!!!

And just for fun:

 Me now:

Me 9 months ago:

When someone asks "how are you feeling?"

This is the number 1 question I get asked.
How are you feeling.

Every time I'm asked, I reply "great" or "good" and keep walking because lets be real, the list is getting pretty long these days.
But if you'd like a true and honest answer here it is.

My feet hurt. Always. The new Nikes Barry bought me are awesome and for the most part take away the discomfort but the instant I take them off and walk around barefoot or in a different pair of shoes, know that my feet are killing me.

My back hurts.

Sleep? What's that? This one I'm growing partial to only because I know it's preparing me for what's to come. Plus I find it pretty miraculous that the human body is capable of getting only a few solid hours of sleep a night and can still function relatively well given the current shape her body is in.

My "practice" contractions are steadily becoming more uncomfortable with each passing week. In fact, as I type this blog I'm using the app on my phone to keep track of them because they are actually lasting about a minute or two long in some cases but are still all over the place in both frequency and intensity. But because they are lasting so long, I thought it might be good to track them and make sure they don't develop a timeable pattern

Increased discharge.. we'll leave it at that.

Every time I laugh, sneeze, cough, or sometimes when I'm just standing there picking my nose, I pee my pants a little.  I have to wear a pantyliner now just because of everything on down there.

I read online that "loose stools could be a sign that labor is near, and it can occur right before labor or a couple of weeks before labor. If it is a couple of weeks before your due date, a premature birth should not be expected. If you are experiencing diarrhea during your third trimester, it does not mean your baby is coming right now, so you should not be alarmed.   This is just a way some women’s bodies prepare for the labor that is going to start at some point." Again, we'll just leave it at that.

Feeling the urge to nest and not only not having the energy to do so, but also not having the time because of renovations. This one began yesterday and sent me into a momentary crying fit on the bed.

The point of all of these being...


I don't know even remember now...

Lets talk symptoms and gross stuff, shall we? ;)

TMI disclosure. There will be bodily fluids mentioned in this post at some point.

So, let me just start by saying that I still find it unbelievable at times, that I went from googling "signs of ovulation," to "early signs of pregnancy," to "first [second, and third] trimester symptoms." And now I find myself googling signs of labor. I can't believe the time is nearing. I know I'm only 33 weeks and we will have a month before she's even full term, but I want to be prepared as possible. At least for this aspect of pregnancy. For week 33, my phone app tells me I should prepare a hospital bag. "Sure, okay. I can't wait!! But all of everything I would put in there is packed away in a tight corner of my dining room while we finish up the remaining details of the den and 3rd bedroom renovations." It's absolutely KILLING me!! I even went out and bought a cute, brown leather, overnight bag for the occasion. I got a hell of a steal on it too! It was a $60 bag from H&M and  snagged it for $25! boo-ya! So anyways.. I've been doing as much research as possible so I can at least be MENTALLY prepared since I don't feel that we're even remotely PHYSICALLY prepared for her arrival. One of the things I remember reading about a long time ago was loose stools/ diarrhea being a sign that labor will start within a few days or possibly weeks. So naturally, since I've have this little problem for the last 3 days, on top of what feels like a return of [mild] morning sickness, I went on a did some more digging and learned that both are pretty common complaints in the last trimester. For a lot women, the bowel complaint will even pick up and get worse right before labor begins as the body's way of cleaning itself out in preparation for whats to come. I'm sure, and I hope labor is still several weeks away, but I'm glad to see my body seems to be following the general guidelines of common symptoms felt by other women at 33 weeks.
Another  thing I read was that it's common for women to slowly loose their mucous plug versus loosing the whole in one fell swoop. If you're loosing it slowly (over the course of a few days/weeks) one should notice a loss of thicker white, pale green, or lite yellow mucous, possibly even red/pink-tinged. As long as it remains white/green/yellow, there is no need for immediate action, however if it's red or pink, one should call their OB to inform them so that they can be more closely watch for impending signs of labor. For the last few days I have noticed mine has gone from watery and clear, to thick and white. So maybe I'm beginning to loose
mine (?)  I suppose time will tell. It's also possible for it to re-seal on it's own if you're loosing it slowly enough, so even if  I was loosing some of it, it doesn't really mean the rest will follow. But it's definitely something I'll be watching out for more closely now.
Other than the signs-of-labor-type-symptoms, I've noticed increasing problems of swelling. I use to only get swollen at night after being on my feet for a long time and it would only occur in my ankles, and on occasion very mildly in my fingers. Now I wake up every morning will swollen fingers, feet (both bottoms and tops), ankles, and even some puffyness in my face and neck. Twice now, I've had to go to work without my wedding rings because I couldn't get them on and once, I could hardly get them off. I had to run my hand under cold water before finally coaxing it off of my finger! And if that's not bad enough, ALL of my shoes are too tight most of the time with the exception of the new Nikes that Barry just bought me in a whole size bigger than the rest of the shoes I own. My feet are so swollen on the bottoms now that it hurts to walk on them and most of the time, when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, (which by the way is about 4 times now), I have to walk waddle on the sides of my feet to and from the bathroom.
Another thing I had to recently go up a size in was my underwear. All my adult life, I've worn a size small. About 6 weeks ago, I had to go up to a medium, and just last weekend was forced to go up to a large because my mediums were so tight they were leaving indentations in my belly and the top part of my butt crack would peak over them! I can't even believe how big my ass is getting! HAHAHA!
Oh and the X-LARGE bras that I bought about 6 weeks ago as well...... already too tight. The doctor said I need to go up a side again because she noticed the deep indentations it was leaving on my chest at my last appointment. Holy Moly... I don't have money for all of this 'going up a size every quarter' thing!! LOL!
What in the world am I going to do with all of this maternity wear when it no longer fits me?! I will have invested so much by the end of this pregnancy! Such is life. :)

IS IT BAD?

Is it bad that some days I wish I could just hide in my room/office all day to escape the attention. Every single person that passes me in the hall says something EVERY SINGLE TIME they see me. Which is okay. Everyone is just excited. So am I. I guess when you hear things like, "it won't be long now" and "it's almost time" at least 5 times a day every day and you have to pretend like it's your first time hearing it ever, every time, it becomes a little exhausting. Especially from the European that tries to get little belly rubs in every chance she can even though I throw out pretty clear clues that it's NOT okay to touch me and then also refers to my child as "it."  "It's getting bigger."

I don't know
Maybe some days I can handle the extra attention better than others.


I'm really looking forward maternity leave.

(ALMOST) 33 WEEKS!

RENOVATIONS:
 Great news!! Lowes is stupid.. They called and told us our carpet is being installed this Thursday (in two days!) Not in two weeks! The race is on to finish all of the trim work and possibly the baseboards before then. Here is what Barry looks like working at night.

I'm so glad he knows what he's doing. haha! Belle, your daddy is the shit! Or as he would say, "jack of all trades, master of none." Even though I beg to differ and have photos to prove it!

Lets transition to bullets for the rest.

• I have a doctors appointment today.
• After today, my appointments will  move to every other week. :)
• Today I am stressed.. about money, credit card bills, Belle's healthcare, money, maternity leave, my whole work-force future, money, and money.... 
• Barry says we have enough other things right now going on and to not let those things bother me right now. Especially when we're making such excellent progress on the house.  I think he's right. Everything will work out. It always does. 
• I got me car washed for the first time since March. Which means I get to buy reindeer antlers and a red nose for it on account of the holidays! AND I made myself a deal, once I get it washed, I get to install the car seat! So I guess that'll be happening soon. 

Without further adieu:
Here is a side by side of October 14th - December 14th

Renovating.

I'm not even sure where to begin. I want this to be informative and  memorable without sounding too much like ranting.

Lets start with the progress that's been made. We got the walls and ceiling in the west wing primed and painted. They look fantastic!! We got all of the baseboards, window trim, and door trim, cleaned, sanded, cleaned again, primed and painted. We have all of the pre-primed crown moulding bought, it just has to be measured and cut, then hung, nail holes spackled, painted, and caulked. The window and door trim is a bit more tricky. Because the drywall is much thicker than the previous wood paneling, Barry has to cut thin pieces of wood to slide in between the framing and trim when hanging it. This wouldn't be as big of a deal if we had a table saw at home, but we don't. So he will just have to take as good of measurements as he can, pick up the wood and take it to work to cut, and then bring home and install it. Then we can hang the window and door trim up, spackle the nail holes, paint, and caulk the seams.

The carpet is finally paid for after a huge ordeal and two trips to Lowes to sign the MFing contract. The only other time I've dealt with such horrible customer service was when we bought phones through sprint and cancelled them after 1 week of dealing with horrible reception issues. I spent almost every day on the phone with those nitwits for TWO MONTHS trying to get things cancelled, refunded and out of paying a $2000 bill that they said we owed them that it finally took me having a nervous breakdown on the phone and literally crying and begging someone to help me for someone to finally feel bad enough for what they had put us through and to get everything straightened out for us. This Lowes carpet ordeal is literally coming close to being as bad as the sprint situation got. I've reached my limit with these idiots.
But back to the point.... after paying for the carpet and finally getting the contract signed, they called us 3 or 4 days later to inform us that the carpet we picked out is on back order until the 21st and they'll call us when it becomes available to schedule the installation. That's two weeks away! Now we will have to move everything out of the nursery and put it....I don't even know where... so we can paint her room. The word "Stress" does not even begin to describe my current emotion. It's so beyond that point. I literally come home and cry almost every day looking around my house wondering how in the hell we are going to finish this.
And I pray that she doesn't come early...

We've missed quite a few gatherings with friends and/or family due to these renovations that I feel absolutley awful about. It doesn't help that we've been using the "we're working on the house" excuse for over a month now. Thankfully almost everyone is empathetic to our situation but I think a few might be beginning to undermine the seriousness of the approaching deadline that haunts nearly every waking thought Barry and I have. Let me clarify that we don't have until my due date of Feb 4th to finish all of this. I might, if I'm lucky, have a couple more weeks left in me before my extremely exhausted, sore, and tired body is no longer capable of doing the this kind of work. I know Barry can and will finish on his own whatever still needs to be done at that point, but I can't leave him with the amount of work that still has to done to so all alone. Not only is unfair to him, but it's a lot more productive for two people to be doing it than it is for just one person. I'm just really glad that for the most part, when we tell people "sorry we can't... we have to get our house finished.." they are pretty understanding of the time constraint we are looking at.
This isn't fun for us. We'd much rather be lounging around and hanging out with friends and family. Afterall, it's the holidays... and I'm 32 weeks pregnant!! But we NEED to finish this. ASAP.

Anyways. Here are some (grainy, obnoxious, low-lite photos) for you :)

 Primed

Gray!!

Window trim and base boards. (not including the door trim and crown moundling)

Aside from my lovely husband, these are the other two things keeping me sane after a long night's work.

Oh, and does this count for a belly shot?

Life happenings. Lots of pictures with a 30 week bump pic

I am so sorry for going silent for 2 weeks! Between work at work and work at home, I've hardly had a single minute to myself it feels like.

So here is what's been happening:
(dummy me forgot to take actual before photos but here is the den. The 3rd bedroom, not pictured, looked exactly the same with green, stained carpet, and faux wood paneling walls from floor to ceiling with the dark brown stained/shellac trim throughout.) So far we removed all of  the carpet, paneling, trim, and baseboards and installed insulation and drywall. We spent the long holiday weekend taping, muding, and sanding the new drywall and will be hopefully sanding the last coat of mud tonight. We will begin painting the ceiling and walls either tomorrow or Wednesday and then work on refinishing trim and baseboards until the carpet gets installed sometime within about 10 days. Once the new carpet is in place, we just have rehang the trim, and baseboards and install the new bedroom door and closet doors in the bedroom. Then we can move all of the stuff that currently is Elle's room into the den and begin work on the nursery!! The only thing we have to do in there is fix a few spots in the wall and then paint the walls, replace her ceiling fan/ light fixture, finish sanding and painting her closet door, and then just move all of her furniture in. WHICH BY THE WAY, with a little help from Barry on the crib, her changing table and crib are both put together.
I even managed to put the Christmas tree up :) Even though the ornaments are currently buried in the dining room (aka- storage unit) under 3 boxes and behind a 60 pound (+) piece of solid butcher block counter top that we had leftover from the kitchen renovation. So that's no happening until we finish the den and can get that room cleaned up and everything put back where it belongs.

 Den:

Baby Shower

So.. the baby shower that I was so against having..... went well.. In fact, it went really well. Elle made out like a little bandit. Its kind of hard to not go home and start unpacking her stuff and putting everything together, and washing and organizing all of her stuff but hopefully it won't be too much longer.
My fear is that by the time we get to that point, I'll be so big and uncomfortable that I'll dread the amount of work ahead of me to get all of her stuff ready before she arrives. Right now I just have to take it one day at a time and try not to get overwhelmed. We do have an overwhelming amount of work still to do... Just getting all of her stuff out of boxes and bags, and washed, folded, organized by size, and put away is an entire weekend's worth or work. And we haven't even started on her nursery yet! However, as much as I have to complain about, at least I'm not going to work and then coming home and doing hard labor until 9 or 10 at night like my darling husband is. I've just been working on all of the trim and baseboards that have to be refinished, which is hard enough for the third trimester but that doesn't keep me from feeling guilty that I can't do more to help Barry. I can't even fathom how sore his body is and he just powers through it day after day. And I don't even have the energy to cook him a nice meal, we've just been eating shitty frozen meals almost every night or getting greasy drive thru meals.  Some wife I am! 
Any ways.. I just wanted to drop a line about how I survived the shower. It really wasn't that big of a deal in retrospect, even though my heart palpitations and contractions last Sunday would probably state otherwise. But it was really nice to see everyone! I just wish we would have invited a photographer friend. I didn't get one single photo of anything and the decorations were done so perfectly!! It's probably something I'll regret for a long time but I've already told Barry we are hiring someone for the birth. I have ZERO non-iphone photos of this pregnancy so far and it sucks. Being into photography as much as we are, I thought we'd be the couple that kept a very good digital/film record of everything but so far, we've pretty much sucked. lol So having photos of Elle's Birth Day is really important to me.

28 WEEK (hot flashes, renovations, and baby shower talk) W/ PICS

Let me just start this off by saying Elle's survival rate if born this week is a whopping 95%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In light of pregnancy symptoms, I feel like they have all waited until now to hit me. The honeymoon phase of pregnancy is officially over. Although my spirit is still on cloud 9, sleep deprivation is settling in. Still, and thankfully still, after a couple nights of a horrible sleep, I'm usually greeted with a couple nights, back to back, of incredible slumber which is nice. For the most part, heartburn only strikes at night when I lay down for bed... AFTER I get all nice and comfy. But it's still no match for tums which I'm also incredibly thankful for. The renovations at the house are coming along. Drywall has been postponed to next weekend due to Barry's sweet grandpa passing away last weekend. As is exhausting and at times, stressful, as this all has been, I feel incredibly fortunate that we are able to get the things done that we need to get done using our HELOC loan. It's nice not having to worry about money at the moment when things like health insurance premiums and maternity leave consume almost every waking thought you have.
Oh and our baby shower is this weekend. There are a few outofstaters that I really wish could make it, but I know they'll be there in spirit. As nervous as I am about all of the attention I'm about to receive, I'm so excited to see all of our friends and family. Some of them we haven't seen since shortly before starting IVF! And the weather is suppose to be PERFECT this weekend. Well... perfect would be low 60's but considering we've been breaking record highs for November almost every day this month, low 70's is more than welcoming! Especially on account of all these insanely, anxiety provoking hot flashes I've been getting this week. These things hit fast and out of no where and some are downright painful. My whole entire body feels like it's boiling and I'm sure turns as red as a beet! The worst one yet was the other night while in line at the grocery store. I felt it and immediately started chugging my ice water which I don't think did anything.  I felt like everyone was staring at me which only added fuel to my internal blaze! My heart was racing, my skin boiling... I just looked at Barry ready to ball my eyes out... Within a minute or two were outside and I was beginning to calm down and cool off again. The fact that I have no idea when one will strike only adds to my anxiety and now I'm that much more afraid of socializing or even being in public for that matter! Hopefully this resolves itself after pregnancy and my internal temperature goes back to normal.

SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING HUSBAND

FOR AS ANXIOUS AS I AM, YOU'D THINK I WAS THE ONE TRAVELING.
AT WHAT POINT DOES THIS FEELING TRANSPOSE FROM JUST MY HORMONES TO A PREMONITION.
GOD FORBIRD.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO THERE.
I CAN'T GO THERE.
I FEEL LIKE A CRAZY WIFE...
I JUST HAD TO LIE TO SOMEONE WHO WALKED INTO MY OFFICE AND ASKED WHY MY EYES WERE ALL RED.
"OHHH BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS OUT OF TOWN FOR 2 DAYS.... " HOW RIDICULOUS WOULD THAT HAVE SOUNDED?
I TOLD THEM MY ALLERGIES WERE KICKING MY ASS. WHICH ISN'T A TOTAL LIE.


WTF IS HAPPENING TO ME?


I SHOULD TREAT MYSELF TO A MILKSHAKE.

26w6d (pictures to be added)

Bullet points.. Its the only way we'll get through this!

• The lovely nights of sleep last week gave way to a train wreck of sleepless nights this week. 
• The 1.5-2 hour range I use to have before my feet and back began to hurt now rests at about an hour. HOWEVER, tennis shoes seem to give me endless relief.
• We went to Ikea. Got a few new lamps and new black and white rug for the living room which after getting home and seeing how much of a mistake that was (white dog + foot traffic), we have to go back and get another new rug for the living room and put the black and white one in our bedroom. Also got a table lamp, wall sconce, shelf, dresser, and rug for Elle's room which we'll have to get another table lamp because Elle's made itself nice and comfy in my bedroom :) Lastly we picked up a beautiful glass shelving unit for the kitchen which was totally unplanned but it was too nice not to get and it was only $70. Unfortunately one of the sides was damaged when we took it out of the box for assembly so we either have to wait for them to send us a new piece or return it all together for a new one. Since we have to go back for another rug and lamp we may just return it. We also tested a new mattress out that I'm still day dreaming about. Barry, if you're reading this, please buy me that comfy new mattress in a king size with a new king size bed too. :)
• We are finally getting started on renovations this week....I think. This weekend we are suppose to remove trim and carpet from the den and 3rd bedroom and purchase all of the drywall needed for both rooms. Then next weekend, Barry has a coworker coming by Saturday to help us hang it. We had an estimate on the floor leveling which we're waiting on a proposal to be written up so we can have permits pulled. Hopefully that job will be done by the end of November so we can have the carpet installed by December. THEN we can move on to Elle's room. In the meantime, I have no idea where we are going to put everything from the den and 3rd bedroom while we renovate it, much less what we are going to do with everything we get at the baby shower the following weekend.
• Heartburn has subsided to pukey reflux which thankfully, for the most part, is only occurring near the end of the day/night.
• I'm still reaaaalllllly excited about Thanksgiving food. 
• I'm also very depressed that my husband is out of town. Like.... I've been crying off and on for 2 days and literally cried myself to sleep last night. I don't know what is happening to me but I told him that my hormones absolutley can't handle him leaving town again for the remainder of the pregnancy. The only silver lining is that he's in Cape Cod... during the fall.... and I know he's enjoying himself. Or at least I hope he is. 
• I have my Glucose Test tomorrow morning. Hopefully I don't turn into a jittery, sick mess afterwards. 

26 WEEKS (w/pics)

bullets make everything easier.

• I'm sleeping well this week due to adding yet another pillow to the bed. 
• I'm still struggling nightly with heartburn although the tums definitely keep me comfortable enough to sleep at night.
• I can no longer see my who-ha but can catch a quick glimpse of it if I bend over and scrunch myself up. However I can only hold this position for a few seconds until I can't breathe and feel the need to vomit. So shaving the ole bikini area... yea... a total train wreck.
• I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving so much that you'd think I was being released from prison on that day. I've literally dreamt about it twice this week alone. 
• I can only be on my feet for 1.5 to 2 hours before my feet and back hurt me to tears.. I feel like this is the one thing I'm not tolerating the same as other pregnant girls I know. Is it my lack of supportive shoe? My already bad back? My tiny feet just not being use to the added 18 pounds of weight? I don't know. But I know our trip to Ikea needs to happen quick because I see this issue only become worse, the bigger I become. 
• We started [binge] watching The Knick this week. I can't get enough of it!
• Have I mentioned Thanksgiving food.. wait. yes I did. a few bullets up. 

That's basically this week in a nutshell.
Oh! And Elle weighs about 2 pounds and is 13.5 inches long now! This week she'll being opening her little eyes for the first time!!

Braxton Hicks and shit. (but not literally..)

As per previous posts, you should already know that I've been experiencing my fair share of painless Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple weeks now. Last Sunday night, (26w3d) I had been having them sporadically all day long. Sunday was such a hectic day of cleaning and throwing old stuff out that I forgot all about eating lunch and wasn't staying hydrated enough either. By 6:30, both Barry and I had showered and were heading out to grab a bite to eat when I noticed 3 contractions almost back to back in the 7 minutes or so that we had been in the truck so I began to time them. All of them lasted about 30 seconds long and were steadily coming in at about 1 minute and half apart so I called the on call doctor who instructed me to go to the hospital to get checked out. After we ate, we made our way to Saint Vincents where by now, they had picked up slightly in intensity and were about 40 seconds long. Upon our arrival we were met with a chatty group of nurses and doctors who got me situated in a triage room after supplying them with a urine sample. A super sweet nurse came in and got me hooked up to an electric fetal monitoring system. One probe was placed low on my right side to measure the baby's heartbeat and the other was placed high up- just under my left rib to measure contractions.. After 30 minutes of monitoring, the machine wasn't picking up ANY contractions but instead picked up a few (what the nurse called) uterine quivers. Every time she came in to check on me she repeatedly used the phrase Uterine Irritability and said that's what I was experiencing- NOT contractions. I became so frustrated at one point, or a few points that I cried and told Barry how stupid I felt whom of course reassured me the way he always does with both words and touch. (I love him for that.) Finally, she decided to sit on the bed beside me and put her hand on my belly to see if she could  feel any the good old fashioned way. No more than 2 minutes into small talk about baby names and she felt one. She said she had no idea why the monitor wasn't picking it up. But instead of moving the probe down lower (by about 4 inches!!!) to where I was feeling (and seeing) the contractions, she unhooked me from everything and diagnosed me as being dehydrated (based on the urine sample they collected from me earlier) and told me the contractions and dehydration go hand in hand.
I followed up with me doctor two days later who, after LISTENING to my story and ALL of my symptoms,  said he believed what I am feeling are braxton hicks which get worse with dehydration and  stress and he preformed a Fetal Fibronectin test. It's a lot like a PAP smear but they are testing for fetal fibronectin leakage from the cervix which would only be present if preterm labor were imminent. As long as the test is negative, labor is 98% guaranteed not to start within 2 weeks. He also checked my cervix.  Real labor contractions would have been softening and dilating my cervix but mine was still closed. Again, a good sign what we're dealing with here are just Braxton Hicks.
So, to conclude I have to stay off of my feet as much as possible and drink an abundance of water every day. The funny thing I've learned over the last three days though is that like dehydration, having a full bladder can also give you BH contractions, as can emptying your bladder. And contractions usually make you feel a very sudden and urgent need to pee even if you only pass a lite trickle.
So basically, I've been having contractions because my bladder is CONSTANTLY full because I can't become dehydrated or else I'll have contractions, but when I do have a contraction, I feel like I have to pee, so I pee, and then end up having a contraction because I've just peed and then have a contraction again because I've just hydrated and my bladder is full ...
It's dirty little never ending ride of fun that I'll be stuck on for the next 14 weeks- give or take a week or two.
But hey, I'm still not complaining. Hopefully all of these BH will make labor a little easier on me when the time comes. 

WEEK 25 update w/ pictures

25 weeks pregnant!
What to even say?
I'm more than half way to the finish line (especially if you take into consideration that I don't think I'll make it past 38 weeks) and we haven't even begun to put the baby's room together yet. Being that we went through what we did just to get pregnant, you'd probably expect us to have been the couple that would have had the the nursery ready at 12 weeks gestation, and the even the hospital bag already waiting by the door.. just in case.
But no... Not us. In part because we spent all of our money conceiving this little peanut and had to get a home equity loan to finish some renovations so that we could start on her room, but also in part because I'm just not that way about things anymore. I use to be super anal about having every detail planned out as early as possible and now I'm more of a go with the flow kind of spirit. And I dig the new me.
By the way the loan went through this week and our funds should be available as of today! This weekend we'll be going to Lowe's at some point to map out a plan for supplies and and estimated cost of everything and  hopefully next weekend we'll be diving into renovations. I have to say, I'm pretty excited for the smell of joint compound and fresh paint.
We definitely have our hands full. I think Barry is planning on bribing some of the guys at work to come by and help him hang drywall one weekend for us so at least I won't  have to feel bad about not being able to help while Barry does all of the hard work by himself.
Oh yea... Elle and I.
Elle's new favorite thing is to become active at night when I lay down to sleep. At first it was cute.. But now, given that is takes me so long to find a comfy position where I'm not smashing my belly, my back and hips aren't throbbing, and I can breath (due to my increasing pregnancy congestion), her wild child movements at night are not as cute to me at the moment. I haven't gotten a single good night's sleep in the last 4 nights and it's starting to wear on me. This morning (like Thursday or Friday of every week) I took a bump photo to compare with the previous month and all it did was make me want to cry. In fact I felt so bad afterwards, that I deleted the app from my phone that allows you to put two images side by side for comparison. Maybe it's hormones, maybe lack of sleep, or maybe it's just weird camera angles. I don't know. But I feel like I look like a whale in all of my photos. Plus I barely fit in the screen! When I look in the mirror at myself, I still see my smaller, 21 week self and I assume that's how others see me as well. But when I see myself in photos, I feel like I look like I'm due any day. And I have to admit, even though I'd rather not, that it's becoming hard scary sometimes to look at myself in photos. I didn't want to become that girl who complained about pregnancy, and I don't think have or will; I won't allow myself to. I think to some degree it's just sort of scary seeing pounds add up week after week and wondering just how much of it is pregnancy, and how much of it is ice cream sandwiches.

 21 weeks | 25 weeks

I sent it to Barry and told him this was the last comparison photo like this that I was doing and what he sent back was probably the sweetest thing he's ever said. He told me that he loves watching my belly grow and that no matter who I see when I look in the mirror, he always looks at me and sees his beautiful wife whose now carrying his daughter. And that, to him, is the most beautiful thing in the world. I couldn't be more thankful for him. 

7 weeks | 24 weeks

a revolving list of pregnancy brain moments

Too bad I'm just starting this at 24 weeks...

Forgot to add our last name to baby shower invitations. Hopefully people don't know too many Candace & Barry's.

I "misread" (or just didn't read) my nephews birthday invitation and showed up to his party 2 hours early.. With three other people that I drug out 2 hours early..

Burned (for the firs time in my entire life) a grilled cheese.

Put the cookies back in fridge instead of back in the pantry..
But while I'm on this one, let me just say, that Barry put a brand new unopened container of  mac n cheese on top of the fridge while moving it out of his way one morning and I didn't find it until I got home from work that evening. Needless to say, it got shit-canned. Thanks babe.

Pregnancy-hormone Meltdown

Well folks, at just two days shy of 24 weeks, I had my very first pregnancy hormone-induced meltdown yesterday. All because a conversation between my husband and I ended less than perfectly and it hurt my feelings. My response to this, like many of other times, was to CLEAN HOUSE! But first.. I gave the dog a bath so that I could wash his beds. My dog, who hates getting baths, usually hides in the corner of the living room which happens to also be the furthest location he can get to away from the bathroom. I literally have to bend over, wrap my arms around his belly and wheel barrow him into the bathroom. For the last month or so, I've been letting Barry pick his fat ass, 60 pound-weighing self up and put him into the tub for me, but because I was livid by this point, I decided to make things work however I could so that I wouldn't have to break the silence between us. I propped Bentley's front paws up on the side of the tub and grabbed his back legs up to the same height. He basically had no choice at this point but to hop down into the basin. After thoroughly wetting his coat I applied a liberal amount of shampoo down his neck and spine and as soon as I began to massage it in, he shook. SOAP. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE.. I held him by the back of the neck and yelled "no! Bad!" Instinctively I wanted to punch him and at this very thought, it happened.. A waterfall of weeping had began. Here I am, standing in the tub, soaked from head to toe, after I've already had my shower, and I'm weeping as I continue to bathe the dog. The poor dog who has no idea what in the hell he did wrong. And the kind of weeping where you can't do anything but stand there and cry with your mouth agape and quick shallow breaths expelling from your lungs.   Adding fuel to this aggressively growing fire was that I couldn't do anything but think to myself, "how in the hell am I going to have patience for a child if I don't even have any for my dog?" and  "I'm going to be worst mother in the world." In retrospect I believe at this point I was crying just to cry. Because it just felt good to get it out. All of this went on for a minute or so with the water running, my head hung to the floor, and Bentley just standing there half covered in soap before I was finally able to catch my breath and a fraction of my sanity; enough to resume this unneccisary chore.
After soaking me once more I finally managed to finish up.
 I reached for his towel and dried my eyes and managed to muster up enough patience to gently dry him off and help him out of the tub. As Bentley jetted his way from room to room, swan diving into every inch of rug or piece of carpet he could find to dry himself off the rest of the way. I picked up the broom and began sweeping.  I had swept the kitchen and half of the living room when I heard Bentley cough. I turned around to find a projectile trail of white, foamy yack on the part of the floor I'd just cleaned... I felt the tears well up once again as I stood there starring at it- unable to move and get a paper towel.
Fast forwarding- after I finished the floors in each room, I began to dust. I took everything off a particular shelf that gets overlooked frequently because I can't reach everything on top of it without standing in a chair, (which I have no business doing right now anyways..) but part of me wanted Barry to walk in and find me standing in that chair to dust said shelf. Part of me wanted to make myself look pathetic, or cute, or however I needed to look to move on the next conversation and squash whatever kind of stink that was earlier between us. After standing atop of the chair, dusting back and forth for what seemed like forever with no Bear in sight, I hopped down and proceeded to dust the entertainment center below. It didn't take karma very long as within a few seconds after climbing down out of the chair, my fucking pinky toe met the support leg under the entertainment center with such crippling force, it sent me breathless to my knees and then into the fetal position.. I don't know if was the sheer adrenaline from anger or what, but a few moments later I was back to cleaning. About this time is when Barry FINALLY decided to come in from outside and see me. All of the prior events unbeknownst to him, he bent down to give me a kiss as I was sitting on the floor and noticed my red face and soupy eyes. "Of course," I thought myself. "This is how you'd find me..."
As "baby, what's wrong?" gently rolled off of his tongue, I lost it..
I explained the best I could, in between weeps of what was wrong but by the time I made it to "and then he shook off and got soapy water all over me," I knew how utterly ridiculous I sounded. And it hit me.. I'm pregnant.. and all of what it happening in this tiny moment in time is okay..
Barry scooped me up and held me so tightly. We each apologized for leaving the conversation earlier as we did.  Afterwards we made BLT's for diner and watched a hilariously bad movie that we made fun of nearly through it's entirety.

And another first.. [Braxton Hicks]

Two first-time experiences in one week!
This morning on my way to work I had off and on cramps which felt similar to period cramps but I felt them in my back really bad as well.
When I got to work, they had pretty much vanished so I carried on with my normal morning routine. During my bowl of cereal, I got a little crampy again. It only lasted a few moments and then stopped and then I began to feel Elle wiggling around so naturally I put my hand to my belly. My initial thought was, "holy cow! She's right there," because I felt this hard lump. However, after further investiagion, I realized my whole entire belly was as a hard as a rock! It didn't hurt at all, and oddly enough, the cramps had gone away too, it was just the tightening. I haven't felt anymore cramps and as far as I know, I haven't had anymore contractions. But who knows, if I was having cramps all morning long on my way to work, it was probably contracting then too. That's crazy.
I did read a while ago that Braxton Hicks are common anytime after 20 weeks so I'm not concerned at all. I'll just have to get checked out if it happens more than 4 times in one hour.

A Pregnacy first.

Two nights in a row, Elle's ferocious little movements have woken me up in the middle of the night. The first time I wasn't completely sure, as it coincided with a dream I was having, but last night left me definitely sure. which pretty much clarifies the previous night as well.
Being pregnant has been the best time of my life to far. Pretty much every downtime minute is spent laying on the couch or in bed starring of my stomach. My favorite thing is when Barry walks by and sees me and says, "She's gettin after it, isn't she?" My heart melts at the love he has for her already.
As much as I can't wait to meet her, I'm also not any where ready for this to end yet.

23 weeks update with pictures galore! (sex talk disclosure...)

Let me just say, I had a really hilarious post lined up for week 22 but my draft was somehow deleted and my lovely pregnancy hormones did not take to it very well.
So that's why I missed a week.

But I'm making up for it in pictures this week!

First thing's first. There will be a second and a half of sex talk in this post. Nothing dirty, but it goes along with the very scary ordeal Barry and I faced last night. So there is your warning.

Last night, at some point during said activity, blood was noticed. Bright red, terrifying blood. I jumped up and ran from the bed to the bathroom where I sat down on the toilet. Barry came in secondly, knelt down in front of me, and rested his hands on my knees. We sat like this for a few moments, head to head, staring at the floor. Then Barry began coaching me on how to breathe. It wasn't until then that I even realized I was on the verge of hyperventilating. After using the restroom, I stood and peered apprehensively into the toilet bowl. There were no more traces of blood, which mean I wasn't actively bleeding, but not knowing the exact cause of that amount of blood was still very unnerving. Afterwards we showered off and I laid down in bed where I was met by Barry as I tried desperately to find Elle's heartbeat on the Doppler. It had been such a long time since I used it that I wasn't really sure where to find her. After a couple minutes I located it; a happy and healthy 160bpm. Needless to say I didn't sleep well last night at all but I was still relived to have found her heartbeat and to have felt her moving around after the incident.
This morning at my appointment, they clarified what I thought had happened. During pregnancy your blood vessels swell with all of the extra blood pumping to the cervix, uterus, and vagina. Those blood vessels become increasingly sensitive too and when bumped even slightly can burst.. That my friends is where the blood came from last night. The Doctor told me to wait at least two weeks before anymore "activity" is had. I told her not to worry. "My husband probably won't touch me again for the remainder of this pregnancy now that hes' seen how incredibly fragile I am."

Barry, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry and also very thankful that we shared that experience together. I can't imagine having gone through anything like that without you. I know how scared you were, but you handled the situation (and me) so delicately with such emotional strength. I love you so much.

The upside to all of this, is I got an ultrasound out of it! Elle wasn't very "active" but she was awake during it. She appeared to be talking to herself throughout the whole thing and even stretched for us and sucked her thumb! She had me and the tech cracking up!

Other than that incident, not much as changed. Still no usual pregnancy side effects. I feel 100% normal other than being hot all of the time and my hips and back hurting from having to sleep on my left side every night. Oh, and if I take a shower right after eating and attempt to bend over and shave my legs, the act of bending over will make me vomit. EVERY TIME. So that's fun.

What I look like when sitting.

What I look like when standing.

What I looked like two weeks ago (red) vs what I look like today. 

What Miss Elle looked like today during her photo shoot. 

Sucking her thumb (top)

Singing, mouth agape into the invisible microphone she's holding in front of her mouth (left)

Profile (right)

Weight gain during pregnancy.

In case you were wondering where all of that extra weight accumulates, here are some numbers I found on babycenter.com.

• At birth, a baby weighs about 7.3lbs
• The placenta, which keeps your baby nourished, weighs 1.5lbs.
• The amniotic fluid, which supports and cushions your baby, weighs 1.8lbs.

But what about the other two thirds of extra weight? These can be accounted for by the changes that happen to your body while you're pregnant.

• The muscle layer of your uterus (womb) grows dramatically and weighs an extra 2lbs.
• Your blood volume increases and weighs an extra 2.6lbs.
• You have extra fluid in your body weighing about 2.6lbs.
• Your breasts weigh an extra 0.9lb.
• You'll store fat, about 8.8lbs, to give you energy for breastfeeding. Beastfeeding burns about 300-500 calories a day. Add to that the amount of calories you're giving to your child and not keeping for yourself, plus the sudden busy lifestyle change, and it's often times fairly easy to watch the few extra pounds fall off in the months after child birth.

By the end of pregnancy you should weigh between 27 and 28 pounds more than you weighed pre-pregnancy.

http://www.babycenter.ca/a554810/weight-gain-in-pregnancy-basics#ixzz3n9BfZElY


I'm weighing in at 130lbs now; up a total of 12lbs so far.
It's a little freightening to see the number on the scale rising week after week but I know that it's all part of it. Using my height and starting weight, by now I should be at 127.5lbs -132.5lbs, so being 130lbs is absolutely golden! Given my body mass index, by the end of pregnancy, I should have gained between 25-35lbs.

21ST WEEK BUMPDATE!

Not much has changed this week from last other than sleeping primarily on my left side every night (for optimum blood flow to uterus and baby) has my left hip so sore it's practically numb. Even my left ear hurts! Everything is just sore! I'm hoping that my body will just take time to get use to it and then things will get better..  Time will tell. Thankfully my back doesn't hurt all night long anymore with the my body pillow stuffed in between my legs which supports my right side by keeping my thighs in line with my hips which takes the pressure off of my spine and even my stomach since the ligaments inside are all connected. My back only hurts occasionally upon waking and readjusting but I suppose that's just from laying in basically the same position all night long. The only downside to the body pillow so far, other than it's like having a third person in my tiny queen size bed, is that it gets so HOT at night. I have no where to go!! It's like sleeping in between two warm bodies instead of laying beside just one!
I will say, that at 21 weeks pregnant, if my only complaint so far (for the most part), is a damn pillow and achey-ness when sleeping, I think we're doing alright :)
Cravings this week: oranges, pasta, chicken biscuits from Chikfila