26 WEEKS (w/pics)

bullets make everything easier.

• I'm sleeping well this week due to adding yet another pillow to the bed. 
• I'm still struggling nightly with heartburn although the tums definitely keep me comfortable enough to sleep at night.
• I can no longer see my who-ha but can catch a quick glimpse of it if I bend over and scrunch myself up. However I can only hold this position for a few seconds until I can't breathe and feel the need to vomit. So shaving the ole bikini area... yea... a total train wreck.
• I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving so much that you'd think I was being released from prison on that day. I've literally dreamt about it twice this week alone. 
• I can only be on my feet for 1.5 to 2 hours before my feet and back hurt me to tears.. I feel like this is the one thing I'm not tolerating the same as other pregnant girls I know. Is it my lack of supportive shoe? My already bad back? My tiny feet just not being use to the added 18 pounds of weight? I don't know. But I know our trip to Ikea needs to happen quick because I see this issue only become worse, the bigger I become. 
• We started [binge] watching The Knick this week. I can't get enough of it!
• Have I mentioned Thanksgiving food.. wait. yes I did. a few bullets up. 

That's basically this week in a nutshell.
Oh! And Elle weighs about 2 pounds and is 13.5 inches long now! This week she'll being opening her little eyes for the first time!!

Braxton Hicks and shit. (but not literally..)

As per previous posts, you should already know that I've been experiencing my fair share of painless Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple weeks now. Last Sunday night, (26w3d) I had been having them sporadically all day long. Sunday was such a hectic day of cleaning and throwing old stuff out that I forgot all about eating lunch and wasn't staying hydrated enough either. By 6:30, both Barry and I had showered and were heading out to grab a bite to eat when I noticed 3 contractions almost back to back in the 7 minutes or so that we had been in the truck so I began to time them. All of them lasted about 30 seconds long and were steadily coming in at about 1 minute and half apart so I called the on call doctor who instructed me to go to the hospital to get checked out. After we ate, we made our way to Saint Vincents where by now, they had picked up slightly in intensity and were about 40 seconds long. Upon our arrival we were met with a chatty group of nurses and doctors who got me situated in a triage room after supplying them with a urine sample. A super sweet nurse came in and got me hooked up to an electric fetal monitoring system. One probe was placed low on my right side to measure the baby's heartbeat and the other was placed high up- just under my left rib to measure contractions.. After 30 minutes of monitoring, the machine wasn't picking up ANY contractions but instead picked up a few (what the nurse called) uterine quivers. Every time she came in to check on me she repeatedly used the phrase Uterine Irritability and said that's what I was experiencing- NOT contractions. I became so frustrated at one point, or a few points that I cried and told Barry how stupid I felt whom of course reassured me the way he always does with both words and touch. (I love him for that.) Finally, she decided to sit on the bed beside me and put her hand on my belly to see if she could  feel any the good old fashioned way. No more than 2 minutes into small talk about baby names and she felt one. She said she had no idea why the monitor wasn't picking it up. But instead of moving the probe down lower (by about 4 inches!!!) to where I was feeling (and seeing) the contractions, she unhooked me from everything and diagnosed me as being dehydrated (based on the urine sample they collected from me earlier) and told me the contractions and dehydration go hand in hand.
I followed up with me doctor two days later who, after LISTENING to my story and ALL of my symptoms,  said he believed what I am feeling are braxton hicks which get worse with dehydration and  stress and he preformed a Fetal Fibronectin test. It's a lot like a PAP smear but they are testing for fetal fibronectin leakage from the cervix which would only be present if preterm labor were imminent. As long as the test is negative, labor is 98% guaranteed not to start within 2 weeks. He also checked my cervix.  Real labor contractions would have been softening and dilating my cervix but mine was still closed. Again, a good sign what we're dealing with here are just Braxton Hicks.
So, to conclude I have to stay off of my feet as much as possible and drink an abundance of water every day. The funny thing I've learned over the last three days though is that like dehydration, having a full bladder can also give you BH contractions, as can emptying your bladder. And contractions usually make you feel a very sudden and urgent need to pee even if you only pass a lite trickle.
So basically, I've been having contractions because my bladder is CONSTANTLY full because I can't become dehydrated or else I'll have contractions, but when I do have a contraction, I feel like I have to pee, so I pee, and then end up having a contraction because I've just peed and then have a contraction again because I've just hydrated and my bladder is full ...
It's dirty little never ending ride of fun that I'll be stuck on for the next 14 weeks- give or take a week or two.
But hey, I'm still not complaining. Hopefully all of these BH will make labor a little easier on me when the time comes. 

WEEK 25 update w/ pictures

25 weeks pregnant!
What to even say?
I'm more than half way to the finish line (especially if you take into consideration that I don't think I'll make it past 38 weeks) and we haven't even begun to put the baby's room together yet. Being that we went through what we did just to get pregnant, you'd probably expect us to have been the couple that would have had the the nursery ready at 12 weeks gestation, and the even the hospital bag already waiting by the door.. just in case.
But no... Not us. In part because we spent all of our money conceiving this little peanut and had to get a home equity loan to finish some renovations so that we could start on her room, but also in part because I'm just not that way about things anymore. I use to be super anal about having every detail planned out as early as possible and now I'm more of a go with the flow kind of spirit. And I dig the new me.
By the way the loan went through this week and our funds should be available as of today! This weekend we'll be going to Lowe's at some point to map out a plan for supplies and and estimated cost of everything and  hopefully next weekend we'll be diving into renovations. I have to say, I'm pretty excited for the smell of joint compound and fresh paint.
We definitely have our hands full. I think Barry is planning on bribing some of the guys at work to come by and help him hang drywall one weekend for us so at least I won't  have to feel bad about not being able to help while Barry does all of the hard work by himself.
Oh yea... Elle and I.
Elle's new favorite thing is to become active at night when I lay down to sleep. At first it was cute.. But now, given that is takes me so long to find a comfy position where I'm not smashing my belly, my back and hips aren't throbbing, and I can breath (due to my increasing pregnancy congestion), her wild child movements at night are not as cute to me at the moment. I haven't gotten a single good night's sleep in the last 4 nights and it's starting to wear on me. This morning (like Thursday or Friday of every week) I took a bump photo to compare with the previous month and all it did was make me want to cry. In fact I felt so bad afterwards, that I deleted the app from my phone that allows you to put two images side by side for comparison. Maybe it's hormones, maybe lack of sleep, or maybe it's just weird camera angles. I don't know. But I feel like I look like a whale in all of my photos. Plus I barely fit in the screen! When I look in the mirror at myself, I still see my smaller, 21 week self and I assume that's how others see me as well. But when I see myself in photos, I feel like I look like I'm due any day. And I have to admit, even though I'd rather not, that it's becoming hard scary sometimes to look at myself in photos. I didn't want to become that girl who complained about pregnancy, and I don't think have or will; I won't allow myself to. I think to some degree it's just sort of scary seeing pounds add up week after week and wondering just how much of it is pregnancy, and how much of it is ice cream sandwiches.

 21 weeks | 25 weeks

I sent it to Barry and told him this was the last comparison photo like this that I was doing and what he sent back was probably the sweetest thing he's ever said. He told me that he loves watching my belly grow and that no matter who I see when I look in the mirror, he always looks at me and sees his beautiful wife whose now carrying his daughter. And that, to him, is the most beautiful thing in the world. I couldn't be more thankful for him. 

7 weeks | 24 weeks

a revolving list of pregnancy brain moments

Too bad I'm just starting this at 24 weeks...

Forgot to add our last name to baby shower invitations. Hopefully people don't know too many Candace & Barry's.

I "misread" (or just didn't read) my nephews birthday invitation and showed up to his party 2 hours early.. With three other people that I drug out 2 hours early..

Burned (for the firs time in my entire life) a grilled cheese.

Put the cookies back in fridge instead of back in the pantry..
But while I'm on this one, let me just say, that Barry put a brand new unopened container of  mac n cheese on top of the fridge while moving it out of his way one morning and I didn't find it until I got home from work that evening. Needless to say, it got shit-canned. Thanks babe.

Pregnancy-hormone Meltdown

Well folks, at just two days shy of 24 weeks, I had my very first pregnancy hormone-induced meltdown yesterday. All because a conversation between my husband and I ended less than perfectly and it hurt my feelings. My response to this, like many of other times, was to CLEAN HOUSE! But first.. I gave the dog a bath so that I could wash his beds. My dog, who hates getting baths, usually hides in the corner of the living room which happens to also be the furthest location he can get to away from the bathroom. I literally have to bend over, wrap my arms around his belly and wheel barrow him into the bathroom. For the last month or so, I've been letting Barry pick his fat ass, 60 pound-weighing self up and put him into the tub for me, but because I was livid by this point, I decided to make things work however I could so that I wouldn't have to break the silence between us. I propped Bentley's front paws up on the side of the tub and grabbed his back legs up to the same height. He basically had no choice at this point but to hop down into the basin. After thoroughly wetting his coat I applied a liberal amount of shampoo down his neck and spine and as soon as I began to massage it in, he shook. SOAP. FUCKING. EVERYWHERE.. I held him by the back of the neck and yelled "no! Bad!" Instinctively I wanted to punch him and at this very thought, it happened.. A waterfall of weeping had began. Here I am, standing in the tub, soaked from head to toe, after I've already had my shower, and I'm weeping as I continue to bathe the dog. The poor dog who has no idea what in the hell he did wrong. And the kind of weeping where you can't do anything but stand there and cry with your mouth agape and quick shallow breaths expelling from your lungs.   Adding fuel to this aggressively growing fire was that I couldn't do anything but think to myself, "how in the hell am I going to have patience for a child if I don't even have any for my dog?" and  "I'm going to be worst mother in the world." In retrospect I believe at this point I was crying just to cry. Because it just felt good to get it out. All of this went on for a minute or so with the water running, my head hung to the floor, and Bentley just standing there half covered in soap before I was finally able to catch my breath and a fraction of my sanity; enough to resume this unneccisary chore.
After soaking me once more I finally managed to finish up.
 I reached for his towel and dried my eyes and managed to muster up enough patience to gently dry him off and help him out of the tub. As Bentley jetted his way from room to room, swan diving into every inch of rug or piece of carpet he could find to dry himself off the rest of the way. I picked up the broom and began sweeping.  I had swept the kitchen and half of the living room when I heard Bentley cough. I turned around to find a projectile trail of white, foamy yack on the part of the floor I'd just cleaned... I felt the tears well up once again as I stood there starring at it- unable to move and get a paper towel.
Fast forwarding- after I finished the floors in each room, I began to dust. I took everything off a particular shelf that gets overlooked frequently because I can't reach everything on top of it without standing in a chair, (which I have no business doing right now anyways..) but part of me wanted Barry to walk in and find me standing in that chair to dust said shelf. Part of me wanted to make myself look pathetic, or cute, or however I needed to look to move on the next conversation and squash whatever kind of stink that was earlier between us. After standing atop of the chair, dusting back and forth for what seemed like forever with no Bear in sight, I hopped down and proceeded to dust the entertainment center below. It didn't take karma very long as within a few seconds after climbing down out of the chair, my fucking pinky toe met the support leg under the entertainment center with such crippling force, it sent me breathless to my knees and then into the fetal position.. I don't know if was the sheer adrenaline from anger or what, but a few moments later I was back to cleaning. About this time is when Barry FINALLY decided to come in from outside and see me. All of the prior events unbeknownst to him, he bent down to give me a kiss as I was sitting on the floor and noticed my red face and soupy eyes. "Of course," I thought myself. "This is how you'd find me..."
As "baby, what's wrong?" gently rolled off of his tongue, I lost it..
I explained the best I could, in between weeps of what was wrong but by the time I made it to "and then he shook off and got soapy water all over me," I knew how utterly ridiculous I sounded. And it hit me.. I'm pregnant.. and all of what it happening in this tiny moment in time is okay..
Barry scooped me up and held me so tightly. We each apologized for leaving the conversation earlier as we did.  Afterwards we made BLT's for diner and watched a hilariously bad movie that we made fun of nearly through it's entirety.

And another first.. [Braxton Hicks]

Two first-time experiences in one week!
This morning on my way to work I had off and on cramps which felt similar to period cramps but I felt them in my back really bad as well.
When I got to work, they had pretty much vanished so I carried on with my normal morning routine. During my bowl of cereal, I got a little crampy again. It only lasted a few moments and then stopped and then I began to feel Elle wiggling around so naturally I put my hand to my belly. My initial thought was, "holy cow! She's right there," because I felt this hard lump. However, after further investiagion, I realized my whole entire belly was as a hard as a rock! It didn't hurt at all, and oddly enough, the cramps had gone away too, it was just the tightening. I haven't felt anymore cramps and as far as I know, I haven't had anymore contractions. But who knows, if I was having cramps all morning long on my way to work, it was probably contracting then too. That's crazy.
I did read a while ago that Braxton Hicks are common anytime after 20 weeks so I'm not concerned at all. I'll just have to get checked out if it happens more than 4 times in one hour.

A Pregnacy first.

Two nights in a row, Elle's ferocious little movements have woken me up in the middle of the night. The first time I wasn't completely sure, as it coincided with a dream I was having, but last night left me definitely sure. which pretty much clarifies the previous night as well.
Being pregnant has been the best time of my life to far. Pretty much every downtime minute is spent laying on the couch or in bed starring of my stomach. My favorite thing is when Barry walks by and sees me and says, "She's gettin after it, isn't she?" My heart melts at the love he has for her already.
As much as I can't wait to meet her, I'm also not any where ready for this to end yet.

23 weeks update with pictures galore! (sex talk disclosure...)

Let me just say, I had a really hilarious post lined up for week 22 but my draft was somehow deleted and my lovely pregnancy hormones did not take to it very well.
So that's why I missed a week.

But I'm making up for it in pictures this week!

First thing's first. There will be a second and a half of sex talk in this post. Nothing dirty, but it goes along with the very scary ordeal Barry and I faced last night. So there is your warning.

Last night, at some point during said activity, blood was noticed. Bright red, terrifying blood. I jumped up and ran from the bed to the bathroom where I sat down on the toilet. Barry came in secondly, knelt down in front of me, and rested his hands on my knees. We sat like this for a few moments, head to head, staring at the floor. Then Barry began coaching me on how to breathe. It wasn't until then that I even realized I was on the verge of hyperventilating. After using the restroom, I stood and peered apprehensively into the toilet bowl. There were no more traces of blood, which mean I wasn't actively bleeding, but not knowing the exact cause of that amount of blood was still very unnerving. Afterwards we showered off and I laid down in bed where I was met by Barry as I tried desperately to find Elle's heartbeat on the Doppler. It had been such a long time since I used it that I wasn't really sure where to find her. After a couple minutes I located it; a happy and healthy 160bpm. Needless to say I didn't sleep well last night at all but I was still relived to have found her heartbeat and to have felt her moving around after the incident.
This morning at my appointment, they clarified what I thought had happened. During pregnancy your blood vessels swell with all of the extra blood pumping to the cervix, uterus, and vagina. Those blood vessels become increasingly sensitive too and when bumped even slightly can burst.. That my friends is where the blood came from last night. The Doctor told me to wait at least two weeks before anymore "activity" is had. I told her not to worry. "My husband probably won't touch me again for the remainder of this pregnancy now that hes' seen how incredibly fragile I am."

Barry, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry and also very thankful that we shared that experience together. I can't imagine having gone through anything like that without you. I know how scared you were, but you handled the situation (and me) so delicately with such emotional strength. I love you so much.

The upside to all of this, is I got an ultrasound out of it! Elle wasn't very "active" but she was awake during it. She appeared to be talking to herself throughout the whole thing and even stretched for us and sucked her thumb! She had me and the tech cracking up!

Other than that incident, not much as changed. Still no usual pregnancy side effects. I feel 100% normal other than being hot all of the time and my hips and back hurting from having to sleep on my left side every night. Oh, and if I take a shower right after eating and attempt to bend over and shave my legs, the act of bending over will make me vomit. EVERY TIME. So that's fun.

What I look like when sitting.

What I look like when standing.

What I looked like two weeks ago (red) vs what I look like today. 

What Miss Elle looked like today during her photo shoot. 

Sucking her thumb (top)

Singing, mouth agape into the invisible microphone she's holding in front of her mouth (left)

Profile (right)