Thursday, May 28, 2015

8DP5DT

Cats outta the bag!



I've known since Monday but didn't want to tell anyone just yet. I'm still trying to take it all in, myself. It doesn't feel real at all, and I feel like it could all come crashing down at any moment. It's an absolutely horrible feeling. Now is a time when I should be nothing but excited and instead I'm about 20% excited and about 80% terrified.
Right now I'm living day by day and trying to come to terms with the fact that this might actually be real this time. I have a huge guarding wall I need to begin taking down but brick by brick, I'll get there. Maybe I'll feel better if I can make to my ultrasound in two weeks and actually see little 5ab on the screen. Or maybe it won't be until I make it to 12 weeks or 28 weeks.  Who knows? Right now, it's just hour by hour for me.

My mantra: Today, I am pregnant.

In the mean time, I will test every day to make sure my test line is darkening like it should be. Hopefully in the the next day or 2 my test line will be as dark and thick as the control line. I know that will definitely ease my mind and bring some sanity back into me. 

How I'm feeling?
4 weeks pregnant! I have my typical off and on again dull, annoying headaches periodically throughout the day- same as before when I was pregnant. This time though, I have been crampy and extremely bloated which can also be a side effect from the progesterone or perhaps the pregnancy. The cramps were so bad last night that it actually woke me up in the middle of the night. The whole episode only lasted about a minute though, so I didn't give it much thought. The cramps feel almost identical to period cramps but more of a pinching feeling, than a dull ache. OH!! And this morning I nearly gagged when handling raw, gooey chicken, and a the consistency of grated Parmesan cheese, and at the smell of the cleaning lady's perfume mixed with the small of the pine sol/bleach water mop bucket she was carrying with her. 
I read conflicting articles once that said one doesn't get morning sickness until her betas are at least 3,000 or more and another one that read morning sickness doesn't mean that your betas have to be high, only that it's increasing quickly and that the sudden increase of it is what causes nausea. 
Regardless of what I or anyone else believes to be correct, I was for damn sure ill this morning. Which I am forever grateful of!


 


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