Today I feel... nervously hopeful.
I'm totally hopeful everything will work out exactly the way that it's suppose to. But that's what I'm so nervous about.
My left ovary is angry. It feels 5 times its normal size which is odd, because I only had 1 mature follicle on that side. The other 7 were on my right side which I barely even feel unless I'm bending over or straining. Something in the back of my mind is telling me that the left ovary is trying to ruin my plans of a fresh transfer. Hopefully it's just a huge Corpus Luteum cyst and I don't have any fluid or blood leakage over there. The pain is definitely flirting with the 'severe' threshold. I know I compare my pains to my last ectopic a lot but I do it for two reasons. One being that, to date, it was the worse pain I've ever experienced and two, the pains are in the same area. Although my ectopic obviously occurred in my tube, it happened at the very end of my tube, right next to my ovary. So the pains, to me, feel pretty alike. And I will say the pain I'm feeling now, DEFINITELY feels strikingly similar to how it felt during my last ectopic both spatially and in terms of the degree of which it hurts..
During my appointment tomorrow, I'll certainly be asking the doctor to check it.
Worse case scenario, it's something serious, they freeze my embryos until the issue is resolved, Barry and I fork out another $2,500+ and we have a frozen embryo transfer in a couple of months, (assuming we have anything to freeze tomorrow, and if we do, assuming that/those embryos survive the thaw to be transferred.)
But back to the positive thoughts.
I didn't receive an update today on the babies because they wanted to let them rest up in the incubator, undisturbed. So we won't even know how they're doing until we get to the clinic tomorrow at 1pm.
FINGERS CROSSED..
I have prayed and prayed and prayed and all I can do is trust in God's will.
"Lord, please let this work."
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