Due Date

I would have been exactly 39 weeks today.
I went ahead and took next Monday, my due date, off because I know that will be a really rough day.
I've seen it coming for a long time and I just pray I've prepared myself enough for it. I can't decide if I should make myself lots of plans so that I can keep busy and occupied or just give that day to myself to do with it what I please.; weep in bed, watch movies, take a bath... I don't know. Maybe I need to just cry it out all day, or maybe that would do more harm than good.



It's hard to believe it's finally here.
I can't imagine how different our lives would already be and how different, even still, they would become in the coming days. What kind of emotions would I be feeling? Would I be ready for it to be over? Would I still be enjoying the pregnancy? Would we have everything done? Would I be scared? Anxious? Would I only feel excitement? Regret?

I feel like now that we've experienced loss, we will both appreciate it so much more. I hope I can appreciate it until the very last moment, and I don't become so aggravated by all of the negatives of pregnancy, like I hear of so many other women. I hope my body is good to me until the very end.

I hope it happens soon.

until then...