Today has been a difficult day. Easily one of the hardest in several years. I awoke to learn a very sweet friend had past unexpectedly and very tragically the night before in the presence of his wife and mother in law. Though we weren’t extremely close- he was the type of person that you could call in the middle of the night for absolutely anything and he’d be there. If you invited him- he’d be the first to RSVP. If you got hurt, he’d be the first to laugh at you as he was helping you off the ground, asking you for the rest of the night if you were okay while telling all the late comers to the party what a magnificent fall you took. (All of these were things actually did!) The type of person that made you feel like the most important person in the room when he saw you, especially if it had been awhile since your last visit. Of all of the people I’ve ever known in my life, he was One of the best. One of the nicest, generous, kindest, most genuine. .
With everything going on and being mid- transfer cycle, I feel like I’m somehow trying to postpone my grieving so that is doesn’t have a negative impact on anything and I feel selfish and foolish. Historically, when I learn of a death, it takes me a couple of days, sometime even weeks to truly and fully process it to actually begin the grieving cycle. But when I was told of the traumatic and tragic ending of his life, the weight of it was almost instant.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this or why I’m sharing it in my fertility blog. It’s just so fucking heartbreaking.
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