Barry busted me in the closet...

         Okay, so it's officially the day before our transfer and I'M FREAKING OUT! I'm so excited that I get my baby on board tomorrow. I feel like I have been mentally preparing for this moment for almost a year and now that it's here I don't even know what to do with myself, 
         It feels strange typing this- almost as if the failed transfer never happened, as doubt never really crossed my mind at that time either. But that was a strange time. Covid still felt relatively new, Barry was severly unhappy about his job and we just talked about it daily. I just didn't feel right about that transfer from the very start so I'm happy and feel very blessed to feel empowered and positive this cycle. Its refreshing, ya know?

        So, back to why you're really here. Barry busted me... in the closet last night.... 

PRAYING! 

        After a particularly difficult night, shortly after hearing about the passing of our friend, I went into out master bedroom closet while Barry was giving Elle a bath, I closed the door behind me, dropped to the floor and prayed so hard for our friend's mourning wife and family and asked Him for help getting me thought it as well, without sacrificing my mental and physical well-being right before our transfer. I sobbed and prayed and sobbed some more. I finally allowed myself to grieve the way I knew I needed. Really, it was involuntary but I didn't stop it from happening; I just rode the wave. A few minutes later, I dried things up, washed my face, and felt completely restored almost immediately after. Honestly, it was the first time I had prayed in a while but that night I felt like had no where else to turn. I was completely beside myself with anxiety and anguish. Since that night, I've decided that the closet is my new sacred, quiet place. So while Barry was occupied bathing Elle last night, I proceeded to that said hallowed space. Where I could have those few hushed, uninterrupted moments.  That is... until he walked out into the living room looking for something and didn't see me. After he finally found me holed up in the closet, he told me he thought'd I'd been taken in the rapture. HAHAHA!!!😂
 Nope.. just hiding out, talking to Jesus. NBD.

          The few people that we have told keep texting and asking how I'm feeling.  
The side effects of the medications I'm taking are that of early pregnancy systems, believe it or not: So far the only side effect I'm experiencing is being bloated, tired, and a very sensitive, sore chest. Aside from that, I'm doing just peachy! Again, just very hopeful and excited to get my baby back tomorrow!!!